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i remember a time.

i remember a time when i wondered what it would feel like to hold you.
i remember a time when i wondered what it would feel like to kiss you.
i remember a time when i wondered what it would feel like to love you.
i got there.
it was more than i had ever imagined.
i felt everything.

until i felt nothing.

until i felt nothing when i touched your arm.
until i felt nothing when i kissed your lips.
until i felt nothing when i held your hand or twirled your hair or rested my palm on your face.
when i didn’t feel something when i held you, i’d squeeze tighter and tighter
to try and remember what you felt like but it didn’t help
because every time i let go, i’d forget.
i forgot.
id look at you and realize i forgot.
i forgot what it feels like to hold you.
i forgot what it feels like to kiss you.
i forgot what it feels like to be us.
but i will never forget how it feels like to love you,
because i will never stop.

 

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