Gallimaufry

life is a highway—a messy poem

Pushing 80 on the freeway
With all the windows down
Blasting The Chainsmokers through the auxiliary chord
Hoping it drowns out the sound in my head
The silence

I feel
empty.

He says I take things to the extreme
That I get defensive
–I get mean
And most times I only prove him right by getting mad and pushing him away.
Storming off to a place where I can apologize without him hearing

I am sorry
that I’m like this.

Mind snaps back to the road and my speedometer reads 90
I slam on the breaks, setting cruise control to 74
And I stay there for the rest of the ride home

Home.
home is where the heart is but it’s my heart i’m trying to find
and he hands me half of his heart where it becomes a half of mine

He
is the only home I know.

>>Exit 1 mile ahead.

Maybe I’ll just keep going.
Escape to Sacramento, about 426 miles away
Find myself or live and die this way.

I wonder
could I make it?

>>Exit in 1/2 a mile.

My sister says I’m a mess and for once she’s not wrong–

>>Take the exit

There’s a piece of me that’s–

>>Take the exit

missing.

I take the exit–

And it’s the other half of my heart.

I just wanna be whole, I tell her.
for home is where the heart is but it’s my heart i’m trying to find
so she gives me half of her heart where it becomes a half of mine.

And in that moment, I was made whole.

And she tells me welcome home.

For finally–

>>You have arrived.

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