I went to Disneyland with my family and you started school. I can only imagine what you must be feeling right now. Excitement, fear, anxiety, doubt. But I’ll have you know there’s not an ounce of doubt in my body. You are going to do great things and I support you. A thousand times over.
Have I told you how proud you make me?
Do you know how proud I am?
Longest day of the week but when you call, it speeds up somehow. I have so much to say and such little time to say it so most times I never do. I forget. I just want to spend every second expressing my love in hopes one day you’ll understand.
You consume me.
You didn’t ask, but I’m hurting. Just thought you should know. When I say I miss you, I’m usually crying. The tears don’t show, though.
*Inserts crying emoji*
How about now?
Because I do.
I miss you.
Can you hear me?
Or do you just read them as words?
My phone rings as I’m writing this. And it’s you.
I was hoping it was you.
I wanted it so badly to be you.
“I just wanted to hear your voice before I went to class,” you tell me.
And you don’t realize I’ll spend the rest of my day swooning over those words.
I get butterflies every time I hear the phone ring–even when it’s not for me.
Because I think to myself,
‘Someone’s being called’ and ‘Someone’s calling.’
Pick up. Please, pick up.
My best friend tells me that as long as we have a good foundation, we can build a steady house. You are the tools wrapped around my waist and the blueprints I hold in my hand; I will build this home for us, I promise.
Lock us in until Sunday—
Come Monday? We will stay fueled until Friday.
We will do it all over again.
Dinner, a movie, and an overindulgence in deep conversation.
All at the convenience of FaceTime.
Thank you, Apple.
Digital dates don’t make a difference though, I still spend 30 minutes deciding what to wear, 20 minutes on my hair, 10 minutes debating what food to prepare.
I am nervous.
I still get nervous.
A game of Mario Party and a late night drive with a friend I’ve never met before.
His name is Andres.
Date night never happened but the call the next day made up for it somehow.
I know we are trying.
Day rolls over to the next and I wake up to a text from you that says,
“I would love to have date night soon, what night do you think you’ll be free?”
Um, are you kidding? For date night?!
Every night’s all right for me.
But Thanksgiving’s coming soon so I ask you before or after?
And you tell me, “I’m thinking before and after?”
And you just don’t realize
I will spend the rest of my day swooning over those words.
So, to tomorrow,
please keep me this way.