Gallimaufry

11:48pm

hang up the phone before it gets too heated
before you say something you mean
but weren’t ready to mean it
weren’t ready to make it official
to officialize the thoughts in your head
your head is aching
from words left unsaid
unsaid as in you wanted him to say it
but he didn’t
and no, maybe you don’t want it to end
but your sister’s friend acts more like a boyfriend
while your boyfriend acts more like a friend
you lie awake at night listening to the sound of her laughter
as she plays ukulele and writes love songs
and you remember how that used to be you
why don’t you write anymore?
because he never asks you to play

your fire, it’s dying
and you spent your last match
on a fire that wasn’t yours to spark
you want to tell him you feel defeated
but you hung up the phone before it got too heated

you hung up the phone

and now you’re alone
falling asleep to the sound of your sister’s laughter
on call with the friend she now calls hers