Dear Jehovah,

Dear Jehovah,

I feel hopeless. 
Mama says love’s supposed to be easy, but for me loving never felt so hard. And Papa says it’s a tricky thing; that you could be with the person you want to be with, but not the person you should be with.
Jehovah I’m troubled by this because I’m having the hardest time spotting the difference.
Because when Your light hits his eyes, I’m mesmerized—
Drowning in the thought of forever.

I should know better.

Because forever
doesn’t exist.

But I love him.
And I want him.
So I should have him, 

Shouldn’t I?

No, that’s too easy.

But Mama said—

Mama said when the time is right, it’ll be easy.

Because my dear girl, love is not always easy.

Papa gets angry sometimes.
And Mama raises her voice.
And so she cries when you’re not looking.
And he cries when no one’s home.

But love is the tissue that wipes their tears away.
It’s the apology before bed so anger doesn’t live into the next day.
So when you say love is supposed to be easy, you are wrong.

My poor child, you are wrong.

Because love takes.

It takes and it takes and just when you think you have nothing more to give, love strips you of that last layer exposing you of your vulnerability.

A layer that is not easy to peel.

A layer that makes you feel

Hopeless.

So when you have someone who makes you feel hopeless
Who’s love takes strength
And trust
And courage
And compromise
And understanding
And patience
And just when you think you have nothing more to give
Who’s love exposes you of your vulnerability

Makes you comfortable enough to feel vulnerable.

That is the person you should be with.

A person who makes you strong.
Honest.
Brave.
Balanced.
Empathetic.
Persistent.
But most importantly, so utterly vulnerable that you can’t even recognize yourself because in all that time you spent hiding, you forgot who you were.

My Daughter, let him remind you.

Because forever 
does exist.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

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